If we have never sought, we seek thee now;
Thine eyes burn through the dark, our only stars;
We must have sight of thorn-marks on thy brow,
We must have thee, O Jesus of the scars.
The heavens frighten us; they are too calm;
In all the universe we have no place.
Our wounds are hurting us; where is the balm?
Lord Jesus, by thy scars we know thy grace.
If, when the doors are shut, thou drawest near,
Only reveal those hands, that side of thine;
We know today what wounds are, have no fear;
Show us thy scars, we know the countersign.
The other gods were strong; but thou wast weak;
They rode, but thou didst stumble to a throne;
But to our wounds only God's wounds can speak,
And not a god has wounds, but thou alone. -Author unknown (to me anyway)
A priest, a faithful priest (I thank God daily for having known this man.) used to say to me that we are all wounded. Being reminded of my own wounds this week, two thoughts came to mind as I worked on setting this text to music (my training is in composition).
1. We tend to be like wounded animals, lashing out at everything, even the hand that would heal us. How often we make our own wounds worse in trying to heal them ourselves. We are in great need of mercy. Compassion is feeling sorry for someone when bad things happen that is beyong their own control. Mercy is pitying someone for the trouble they create for themselves. I am very rarely worthy of compassion, but often need the mercy of those around me. This week, in saying some things I should not have and their effect being compounded through misunderstanding, an act which put at risk the most significant human relationship in my life outside of family, I was reminded of the preciousness of mercy. When a human relationship is damaged, making satisfaction is difficult, reconcilliation a slow, painful process, but the experience makes me all the more thankful for the satisfaction made by Christ for my sin, and the reconcilliation I enjoy with God because of it. The temptation to take God's mercy for granted is all too easy to give in to.
2. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Nonsense. It can make you bitter. Or it can just hurt. I read a church sign once that said, "God doesn't count your degrees, but your battle scars." Well, I have many, and very few of those were won honorably. My only consolation is the great power of Christ's wounds, which give our wounds meaning. Even those we inflict ourselves may be redeemed. The wounds that weaken us have the promise that in our weakness, His strength is made perfect. I wonder if all of our wounds will survive death, or only those wounds of victory. Perhaps they may be transformed from evidence of failure to reminders of grace. That might not be a bad view to take. For the moment, they still hurt.
As I said, I've been setting that text to music. Quite sad sounding, really. One day I may set it again a tune that is a bit more...hmmm?... hopeful. We'll see.